Don’t Judge the Book by Its Cover

Posted on December 3, 2008

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An opinion by Dita Surya Kartika

People often say that. It is used to say that you should not form an opinion about somebody/something from their appearance only. But, needless to say, a lot of people still judge from the outer look. However, when I met someone, the first trace really came out from their appearance. So, it’s very human and cannot be supposed wrong. Then, why should we change our point of view?

First, in a psychological book I ever read, we tend to judge a whole character of someone at the first 90 meeting. Yeah, I believe that. Honestly, I believe most of the psychologists say. But, are you sure you want to believe them now? I mean, at that very short time, people really show their true personalities? Maybe, they are not in good condition. Maybe they are in bad mood or something that we don’t know. Maybe -especially Indonesian- tend to be so polite and shy (yeah, me too). In my real life, I often misjudge someone at the first 90 seconds meeting. I need at least one hour to chat with a new friend to know his/her character (Still, I often misjudge them. I’m so stupid, yah?).

Second, people can change. Nowadays, many things influence someone in his/her character developing. It could influence them to be a better person or to be a worse person. If to be a better person, fine. Then, how about someone that personality turns to worse? What will you do? Will you leave them directly? As a human, we have ‘curiosity. Furthermore, we also have ‘sympathy’. You will ask, “What’s wrong with this guy?” Later on you’ll decide to stay or to leave him. This is just an example. It’s so complicated. When allies turn to enemies, enemies turn to allies. All of these make me dizzy.

Third, the cover changes regularly. You know what I mean. I’m so afraid with this kind of person. But, this is life. We should face it if we want to win. Life sure is complex…

Finally, I just want to emphasize why you shouldn’t ‘judge the book by its cover’. Take a look at a book for example. When you read the book, it needs process. The same as if we try to know someone’s personality. It’s really hard for me to do that actually. But, I’m working on it. Always.

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Posted in: opinions